Labels
by randomcat23
Summary: Spoilers. Holland thinks about all the labels he has while waiting to add father to the list.


**Disclaimer:** Please, is this necessary? No, but I'll write one anyway. Eureka Seven belongs to BONES!!

**As a side note:** I watched the whole anime through fan-subs. But when I wrote this I tried to use the terms the English version used. If I get any of them wrong, feel free to correct me.

Enjoy!

* * *

He was a **killer** before he could say his first word. 

The birth of a son was supposed to be a joyous event. But, in truth, his birth was two sided. The Novak family gained a bouncing baby boy and lost a wife, a mother.

It had been the first life Holland had taken, the first time someone's blood was on his shoulders. His innocence was wiped away.

And he hadn't taken his first steps.

* * *

At the moment Holland became a killer, he was also a **son**. 

His father had somehow found the strength and love to hold his son after losing a wife. And never once did he blame Holland for it.

That fact boggled Holland.

In the war when Holland shot and killed a man, the family despised him, sent him death threats, and punched him. How could a man hold the killer of his wife?

Was that unconditional love?

* * *

Holland was a **brother**. 

The brother of a jealous man. The brother of a mad man. The brother of a confused man.

Holland looked up to Dewey. Dewey looked down on Holland. Holland Novak was the killer of Dewey's mother, the one who stole his father.

He was Dewey's rival; the receiver of Dewey's contempt.

Holland loved him. Holland hated him. He tried to save Dewey, but watched him die instead.

So much for brotherhood.

* * *

**Lifter** was the first label Holland took willingly. 

When he was on that board nothing else mattered. Life was simple then. It was nothing more than the wind, the waves and the board.

Plus, Holland was good at it. His natural skills expanded the more he lifted.

It was his escape from reality.

When Holland crashed, he crashed back into reality.

* * *

After discovering he was a killer, becoming a **solider** seemed to be the next reasonable step. 

A gun felt oddly at home in his hands. He had killed before, what was one more?

Two more?

Ten more?

Fifty more?

* * *

Amidst the war, Holland became a **boyfriend**. 

He learned to love someone outside his family. He learned the feeling of a woman in his arms. It was a counterbalance between his solider life.

Diane was the only one who made him laugh like that. She was his first kiss, his first love. For the first time in a long time, Holland was happy.

Then, Diane left him, forgot him.

She was his first heartache.

* * *

With Gekko State, Holland gained the title of **leader**. 

As a solider, Holland took orders. This was the first time people listened to him willingly. They looked to him for decisions, for commands.

Slowly, like most worth-while things, the relationship between leader and follower became a friendship.

Holland grew to trust these people and they put their faith in him. They ate together, laughed together, and fought together. Gekko State had grown from rigid-rule-giver and listeners to a group of friends.

But they still called him leader.

* * *

Years after Diane, Holland found his first **lover**. 

Once again, he met a girl at the military. Stubborn, loud-mouthed, beautiful Talho.

She dragged him out of depression—every time he fell. She loved him despite all his countless faults. She remained by his side loyally, never wavering. She put Holland in his place—the only human being alive who could.

When his mind wandered back to Diane, she slapped him, jealous. Not until recently did she accept it. She knew where his true feelings were. All Talho could wish for was more confirmation.

He had hurt her countless times, too many to be forgiven. But, Talho always found a way to set him straight.

Now she was willingly carrying their child.

* * *

Holland rested his head in his hands. All those labels he had, they clung to his back, defining who he was. 

He was waiting to add father to the list.

How long had he been sitting here, waiting for confirmation? At every sound his head shot up, hoping to see Misha with a smile, beckoning him to see his son.

His son. Talho's son. Their son.

The thought of his son becoming a killer sickened Holland then. How could he protect his child and Talho from the same fate Holland had had?

Could he raise his son right?

Could he teach him to be a good brother, Holland swallowed, if he and Talho had another child?

Could he let his son chose his own job and teach him not to harm others?

Would he see his family grow to include grandchildren?

All these thoughts danced in Holland's head, tormenting, exciting, and troubling him. He didn't notice Hap's encouraging hand on his shoulder. He didn't hear Matthieu's or Stoner's playful taunts.

So when Misha finally opened the door and smiled, it wasn't until she softly touched Holland's shoulder that he stood up abruptly. He clenched and unclenched his fists and gritted his teeth. Holland took in a breath and—

Sprinted into the next room.

His feet were heavy. Fear stung his throat, making his breaths short. Holland needed to see it for himself. Everything was ok—right?

Talho gave him an exhausted, but proud smile when Holland finally made it to the bedside.

Shaking ever so slightly, Holland kissed her forehead and turned his attention to the bundle of blankets in his lover's arms.

Their child.

His hesitant, but eager hand pulled away some of the cover to reveal a small, pink face, sound asleep. His son, healthy and alive.

Holland couldn't help it; he fell to his knees with tears streaming down his face.

He was a **father**.

* * *

Well, that's it! I was originally going to add another scene for all those Holland/Talho fans out there, but it really didn't fit with the fic as a whole. I guess I just have to do another one-shot sometime! 

Anyway, thanks for reading! Comments and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated! –randomcat23


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